Its raining...

Its raining...
slow and continuous,
mild drizzle or pouring,
chilly and biting,
to flesh and bones.

dark clouds soaring above,
scant populace on streets,
small streams flow on path,
taking the impurities with it....
and submerging my feet.

A bit of melancholy it is?
or a moment of nostalgia,
affecting my sensibilities,
giving off those vibes,
bringing out my mood swings!!

Its raining,
with its breeze,
spreading the petrichor ....
and immersed in its flavor,
are my heart and soul.

Pleasure

 What governs the world..
if not the Pleasure?

Of money or fame,
of life or death,
of lust or love,
for others or self !!

Pleasure I seek,
desires that have been,
to bring out the most,
from my daily routine.

as a craving,
it calls me out,
or as a power,
controls my decisions.

Greed of worldly things,
the pride of achievements,
be it lust, I may not speak,
or the plain envy did I feel?

Gluttony...the one I have ignored,
but my wrath only got soured,
tired and lazy I became a sloth,
Deadly sins...for all its worth.

Pleasure a sin or is it so?
for it moves the life cycle,
and thus being aware...
I accept it all  !!

But society warns,
it has its implications,
but not be in excess,
my satiety is from a little.

I would still strive,
struggle with all my might,
for the joy and happiness....
for my own pleasure.

 

 

Impulsivity

Impulsivity..
a bit of spontaneity,
an act of emotion,
seeking of freedom.


Dry and monotonous,
my life on stasis,
everyday is same,
an unease in calmness....
a little spark of excitement,
or some thrills or adventure,
that we read in stories,
exposures of the characters.

Its a rarity..
to see something new,
or its my indecisiveness,
letting these worries grew.
I have a lot, 
yet asks for more..
to feel more alive,
life points, I want to score.

Not to be hasty,
a planning is needed,
but does it brings the charms,
of something sudden or unexpected?
a little change in perspective,
may be all I need,
a little push to my back,
or a companion for courage.

Sometimes I do wonder,
what if, I break these chains,
winding my mental restrains,
to break out, to be free,
of fears of uncertainties,
but it feels insane!

Impulsivity it is,
that appeals my heart,
instinctive, passionate,
to pursue the real joy,
being passionate or emotional,
not calculative of actions,
and then may be...
find my true happiness!!

The sand of time.

The sand of time,
that slowly moves,
but definitely moves,
forward and ahead....
even if we realize or not.

The memories of the past,
that come and go..
be it good or bad,
like waves of the sea,
invoking emotions in our heart.

but there are routines,
be it social responsibility,
or our daily activities,
driven by own desires,
making us lost in the moment.

Still, the time will move, 
as the clock is ticking,
the gears are moving,
and when it gets our attention..
we are only helpless spectator.

we have our regrets,
the dread of coming fate,
the days wasted,
and things we could have done,
if given more time.

So came the thoughts,
as I watched the hourglass,
sitting on my table,
with its glass bulbs,
supported by wooden pillars.


being present...it denotes time,
the glass bulb of infinity,
and the slow trickling,
of the sand within...
displaying the magnanimous symbolism. 

A lifetime includes,
past, present and future...
but its an instant in time,
a moment in an eternity....
in this sand of time. 

Dreamy day

I am dreamy,
a little warm and fuzzy,
just sitting on the porch,
looking at the clear sky.

The breeze so cool,
caressing my hair,
and the falling leaves...
giving little peck on the cheek.

The air smells something nice,
a bit of nostalgia,
the feeling of floating,
a complete relaxation !!


As a complete submission,
to the nature and the life,
no worries or worldly thoughts,
in my clear mind.

emptiness can be scary,
and loneliness be painful,
but today its welcoming,
like a mother to the baby.

These days of uneventful,
no responsibilities or activities,
just a temporary pause..  
and then will come routine lifestyle.

but now I don't mind,
I can be carefree...
and appreciate the beauties,
charm of the small things...surrounding me.

Thus I wondered,
with a pleasant surprise,
sitting on the porch.....
on such a dreamy day.

Dark emotions

Hello friends, just trying to write a little darker emotions, hope I get it right. Here it goes;






Its so dark,
no light at the sight,
wandering clueless, panicked,
is there a path...
or am I simply lost,
in this infinite loop?

The strength failing,
tired of all the run,
some moments of respite,
a pause, a distraction,
flaring me a little,
and then comes..deep cold sensation.

a forced smile,
disappointed heart,
an undirected anger,
 a hopeless struggle,
false sense of security,
pride of being stubborn.

slowly the time passes,
chipping away little by little,
as the scars got old,
fresh cuts keep coming up,
hiding, treating, showing off....
unsure, clueless and given up!

Still....I stand,
on my uneasy path..
looking for the flowers,
ignoring the  thorn,
by surrendering to my fate,
hoping to reach life goals.

but then, it comes back..
like the waves of sea,
all the negativity and darkness,
immersing my heart,
taking away the light,
mocking, laughing at my stage.

No.....I won't back down,
I won't fall,
will hold my ideals,
till my last breath...
still I am scared,
might call for help.


So....if you are there,
exist for real,
like an illusion of my heart.
Then come....hold me up,
catch me as I fall,
for I might not last long.

listen to my conscious and subconscious self,
all those smothered screams,
accept, appreciate and encourage me,
be there when I need..
with all my fallacy, all my sins,
am I allowed to be selfish??

Then again...should I be?
expectations hurt,
dream get broken,
being laughed and made fun of,
am I embarrassed or fear of rejection,
to get passionately involved....only to let it go??

Dehradun diaries

A journey was planned,
to meet a faraway family,
time to spend,
moments to share...

So started a trip,
from an airway strip,
and we fly,
over the clouds,
above the sky.

finally we reached,
touched the ground,
walked a little,
drove in a car....

and thus we met,
with hugs and kiss,
the travel was hard,
but nothing was amiss!

Many things to talk,
laugh and play,
to plan an outing,
to move back in time.

so, we went,
the very next day,
to our old abode,
small colony...a couple of  decade back.


Then we visited,
to pray and reminisce,
an old Buddhist temple,
flocked with Tibetan monks.

A grand place it was,
with big statues,
a magnificent temple,
Buddha in deep meditation.

It was hot summer,
our naked feet too prone,
and thus we decided,
to go to the next place.

A land of thousand streams,
a nice way to refresh,
to bath and play,
a place named Sahatsradhara.

It was as we remembered,
the same charm,
to bring us a great joy,
too bad that we couldn't stay.

Our next stoppage,
a place called Robbers cave,
with deep creek and open roof,
a cold stream of water below our feet.

It was all rocks and stones,
some big and some small,
surrounding us above and below,
intimidating and exhilarating too.

smooth stones press our feet,
as cold water dampens it,
it make us wet, moisten skin,
while the cool breeze brush our cheek.

everything was as we remembered,
but more crowded and chaotic,
losing nature, development creeping,
still some moments it does make.

we were tired and hot,
had our lunch,
a little shopping in clock towers,
and reached and fall on our bed,
too much for a single day.

we slept like a log,
with anticipation of next day,
as it was for queen of mountain,
a place named Masoorie.




Surrounded by mountains,
with lush greenness,
Tall trees, deep valley,
lot of diverse flora and fauna.

a great market,
beautiful sceneries for viewpoint,
wild fruits and hilly foods,
and a walk with family.

A lot of pictures to take,
get overwhelmed by the place,
also the serpentine road,
making us light-headed.

there were a place,
with lots of flower,
to relieve from tiredness,
so called the Company garden.

we had our break,
then the same hectic routine,
the twists and turns,
as we descend the mountain.

we saw a lake,
some exotic birds,
common monkeys,
on the mountain trail.

thus completed our second day,
tired but happy,
thanking our driver,
we entered our home.




The next day was main,
a little spiritual at heart,
to visit temples in Haridwar,
and take a holy bath.

But I was  distracted,
excited about river rafting,
as a little adventure awaits,
at a place called Rishikesh.

Tomorrow came,
the day was early,
Half awake, we got ready,
to visit Haridwar and Rishikesh.

First we went Rishikesh,
the place of adventure,
I went rafting,
while parents went sightseeing.

Rafting in river Ganga,
we planned our way,
after getting ready,
with jackets, cap and row.

The touch of the water,
it was cold and clean,
with fog covers the surrounding,
and we mounted the boat.

By invoking mother Ganga,
we started our journey,
faced bravely...turbulent waves,
also floated in calm water.

it was fun, and exciting,
filled my heart with joy,
we laughed and swam,
etching everything in memory.

in between at break point,
we had our tea and snacks,
we clicked pictures,
and talked with strangers.

so continued our rafting,
finally reached our goal,
tired and exhausted,
we returned to out vehicle.

with lunch convered,
and fully restored...
for our main destination,
drove towards Haridwar.

And ancient place,
besides bank of Ganga,
with many ghats,
flocked by young and old,

A place of reverence,
with saints and Sadhus,
people from many walk of life,
and different locations.

After the holy dip,
we went for temple visit,
residing on top of hill,
Ma Mansa and Chandi Devi.

We took the ropeway,
for we had less time,
but to wait for turn,
humidity and long queue took the toll.

still we faced the crowd,
the like-minded ones,
to pray in unison,
and have our darshan.

the ropeway was fun,
saw peacock enroute,
the trees laden with fruits,
also the deep fall below.

with all the darshan,
and doing Ganga Aarti,
a spark of spirituality,
contemplating about the religion.

Happy faces of parent,
me with silent observations,
the plethora of people,
moving around in harmony.....
within the noise and chaos!

we followed them,
walked with them,
after living those moments,
we finally returned.

In silence we drove,
with noise of bells,
chanting of verses...
playing fresh in our mind.

As we entered home,
talked about the experience,
had our dinner,
went in a deep slumber.




Next day was for rest,
need to restore our strength,
Just have a lazy day,
and prepare for early flight next day.

So it went,
my Dehradun diary,
a trip of nostalgia,
plenty of adventure,
and beautiful memories😊😊

Passing by..

Passing by,
we see others,
just a glance,
or a smile,
as we walk to our cause.

A moment of connection,
or our clumsy whims or fancy,
wondering their presence,
their life or work,
or just a simply form of attraction.

Passing by,
not much to spare,
Being busy with self,
in the life of fast pace,
returning to old life.

But then something changes,
or just some impulses,
giving some serious thoughts,
simple look or stares,
or little courage to meet...

So...brings the attachment,
forming of relations,
moving to more, solidifying,
Some words, assurances...
forming like a bond.

Passing by,
All it took...
a moment of pause,
first step to unknown...
and life goes on.😊

The Cuckoo's song

 

A cuckoo sits
on the branches
of a mango tree..
Hidden within leaves,
away from the onlookers,
and he sings.

With the same voice,
Coo coo, coo coo,
morning or evening
day or night,
repeated, intermittent,
be slow or being loud.


It waits and listen,
the sounds of faraway,
or near it's place.
Some voices of its friends,
or the competitive enemies,
seeking their maiden.

He hears a sound,
mimicking his own,
with a different pitch,
joyful he was,
so stopped and listen,
beautiful melody he was seeking.

But it was a tease,
fallacy of another species,
clever and copy whistle.
Realizing his mistake,
enraged as hope dashed,
he shrieked and squalled. 

The whistle thus stopped,
only silence remained,
in the evening shadow.
He took a deep breath,
and started refreshed,
his routine of singing.

The summers were hot,
sometimes rain too fell,
as he sat drenched.
The fruits get laden,
welcoming for a feast,
but unwavering, he keeps singing.

The wait was long,
desires so strong,
as he sat on his treasured tree,
he wondered, and pondered,
doubting his song,
why the song is not reaching...
his fair maiden.



Even today if you pass,
the big Mango tree
by the wall,
with the large pavement.....
You will still hear,
a beautiful melody,
a little lonesome and sad,
yet a proud.... Cuckoo's song.

iCity { Intelligent City }

Hello friends,
Its been a long time that I have written a blog. So, today I am going to write about a thought that just come to me, about creating intelligent cities (not in the line of PM smart cities).
Intelligent cities that are small, compact with only research centers and colleges. A planned city where social norms are not enforced i.e, no religion, politics or social gathering and customs.
A city which itself is a big company with its administration, management, and skilled working force (preferably young with experienced knowledgeable people).
iCity, in the sense that it is supposed to have all the amenities for proper maintenance of lifestyle, but most of the times and mind should be utilized in research of various vocations...be it IT, defense, Science and technologies, environmental issues, newer medical techs, robotics, AI, disaster management, and prevention, back up, or hiding place in case of any nuclear, chemical misadventure, also with protection of native flora and fauna. 
It should have no economic system with cards and its own local internet service. One can also have inter iCITY internet service, and other global internet service with gated system ie inflow is open but outflow being scrutinized for preventing secret tech leak.
Now, such cities should be place near sea/ocean, and mountains....it can help in research of climate change, marine life...also should be placed in lands that have no human presence or limited one, so easier to create the city from scratch.
The land need not to be fertile, as it will be a concrete/metal city in future, and it can also house country's secret defense researches.
Its not like, such plans and cities are not present right now, but they are under state/center govt. and affected by their policies and social restriction. What I want is a iCity developed purely for research purpose and with genuine devotion of time and mind for sole purpose of exploring the reach of human imagination and creativity and the result that may come being secondary.

know your true self.

I walk and walk,
being brisk and even slow,
there are a lot of thing,
to gain, to achieve,
after all...the world is a vast place.

being focused on work,
more so, to be rewarded,
competition, envy, complexes,
pushes us too far, too hard,
with no choice to look otherwise.

Options limited, or our outlook,
limited knowledge, or imagination,
or simply our own will,
being sheep to follow the lead,
that brings..our limited reality.

we scorn, we laugh,
we doubt, we fear,
the unconventional, with different views,
being stubborn,or conservative,
we loose the freedom of choices.

getting tired, or depressed,
and even loose  our sleep,
but being chained to monotonous lifestyle,
we ignore, these warning signs..
for we seek... economical and social stability.

but then....
a moment will come,
we will question our living,
regretting it all..as we go on..
to leave everything and run!!

don't get discouraged,
don't get burn,
just sit back and relax,
have some fun..

be it hobbies, 
or something to be passionate,
even for minutes or hours of our own,
listen to music, sing or dance,
read or write, or watch something,

there are vacations, 
play some game,
choices are many,
reward yourselves..
balance is needed...to establish harmony..

Just open your mind, accept everything of world.
feel the breeze,
watch the vast sky, 
day clouds or night stars,
get drenched in rain,
taste the droplet,
walk barefoot on sand or soil,
or climb the trees..
be close to nature,
listening the sound...
and meditate too..
.
..
...
to know your true self.....



 

I am not saying..

 




Hello friends....just for an update...I have completed my post graduation and now joined in a private hospital as senior resident. My hobbies are intact and I am able to make a balance between my professional and personal life. Just few thoughts for now....


I am content,
got what I wanted,
a good workspace and..
a stable life.

Yet, there are somethings...
that I keep missing,
not to speak up,
still me wishing.

friends being busy,
so am I,
but still part of me...
want old routines..

Time flies by,
but me not changing...
and I see them all..
moving ahead in their living!

anyway, I have my hobbies,
things to look forward to..
but their are experiences..
That I want too.....
but, I will not be the one saying.

Just my thoughts for now

I want to be free...
yet a bit of stings attached,
to be there or not,
from face and my heart.

I want to capture,
all my desires,
as the time passes on,
to relish those moments.

But there were responsibility,
for I need stability,
to attach to my roots,
along with my social duties.

I realised too late,
or my simple regrets,
to experience the universality,
out of pure self interest....

I can't say, only wait,
for my ideals, my goals,
though it pains...the void,
I can't let go of my stubbornness.

I dreamed big, lived in my own world,
unaware of passing tide,
and now, I feel the dread,
like a thin wire...that I tread.

Still, I would stand tall,
I won't deny my choice,
although with failed opportunities,
I also had some rays of hope.

Just my thoughts for now....As I stop.