Sunday, June 24, 2018

Dark emotions





Hello friends, just trying to write a little darker emotions, hope I get it right. Here it goes;






Its so dark,
no light at the sight,
wandering clueless, panicked,
is there a path...
or am I simply lost,
in this infinite loop?

The strength failing,
tired of all the run,
some moments of respite,
a pause, a distraction,
flaring me a little,
and then comes..deep cold sensation.

a forced smile,
disappointed heart,

an undirected anger,
 a hopeless struggle,
false sense of security,
pride of being stubborn.

slowly the time passes,
chipping away little by little,
as the scars got old,
fresh cuts keep coming up,
hiding, treating, showing off....
unsure, clueless and given up!

Still....I stand,
on my uneasy path..
looking for the flowers,
ignoring the  thorn,

by surrendering to my fate,
hoping to reach life goals.

but then, it comes back..
like the waves of sea,
all the negativity and darkness,
immersing my heart,
taking away the light,
mocking, laughing at my stage.

No.....I won't back down,
I won't fall,
will hold my ideals,
till my last breath...
still I am scared,
might call for help.



So....if you are there,
exist for real,
like an illusion of my heart.
Then come....hold me up,
catch me as I fall,
for I might not last long.

listen to my conscious and subconscious self,
all those smothered screams,
accept, appreciate and encourage me,
be there when I need..
with all my fallacy, all my sins,
am I allowed to be selfish??

Then again...should I be?
expectations hurt,
dream get broken,
being laughed and made fun of,
am I embarrassed or fear of rejection,
to get passionately involved....only to let it go??

Monday, June 18, 2018

Dehradun diaries

A journey was planned,
to meet a faraway family,
time to spend,
moments to share...

So started a trip,
from an airway strip,
and we fly,
over the clouds,
above the sky.

finally we reached,
touched the ground,
walked a little,
drove in a car....

and thus we met,
with hugs and kiss,
the travel was hard,
but nothing was amiss!

Many things to talk,
laugh and play,
to plan an outing,
to move back in time.

so, we went,
the very next day,
to our old abode,
small colony...a couple of  decade back.


Then we visited,
to pray and reminisce,
an old Buddhist temple,
flocked with Tibetan monks.

A grand place it was,
with big statues,
a magnificent temple,
Buddha in deep meditation.

It was hot summer,
our naked feet too prone,
and thus we decided,
to go to the next place.

A land of thousand streams,
a nice way to refresh,
to bath and play,
a place named Sahatsradhara.

It was as we remembered,
the same charm,
to bring us a great joy,
too bad that we couldn't stay.

Our next stoppage,
a place called Robbers cave,
with deep creek and open roof,
a cold stream of water below our feet.

It was all rocks and stones,
some big and some small,
surrounding us above and below,
intimidating and exhilarating too.

smooth stones press our feet,
as cold water dampens it,
it make us wet, moisten skin,
while the cool breeze brush our cheek.

everything was as we remembered,
but more crowded and chaotic,
losing nature, development creeping,
still some moments it does make.

we were tired and hot,
had our lunch,
a little shopping in clock towers,
and reached and fall on our bed,
too much for a single day.

we slept like a log,
with anticipation of next day,
as it was for queen of mountain,
a place named Masoorie.




Surrounded by mountains,
with lush greenness,
Tall trees, deep valley,
lot of diverse flora and fauna.

a great market,
beautiful sceneries for viewpoint,
wild fruits and hilly foods,
and a walk with family.

A lot of pictures to take,
get overwhelmed by the place,
also the serpentine road,
making us light-headed.

there were a place,
with lots of flower,
to relieve from tiredness,
so called the Company garden.

we had our break,
then the same hectic routine,
the twists and turns,
as we descend the mountain.

we saw a lake,
some exotic birds,
common monkeys,
on the mountain trail.

thus completed our second day,
tired but happy,
thanking our driver,
we entered our home.




The next day was main,
a little spiritual at heart,
to visit temples in Haridwar,
and take a holy bath.

But I was  distracted,
excited about river rafting,
as a little adventure awaits,
at a place called Rishikesh.

Tomorrow came,
the day was early,
Half awake, we got ready,
to visit Haridwar and Rishikesh.

First we went Rishikesh,
the place of adventure,
I went rafting,
while parents went sightseeing.

Rafting in river Ganga,
we planned our way,
after getting ready,
with jackets, cap and row.

The touch of the water,

it was cold and clean,
with fog covers the surrounding,
and we mounted the boat.

By invoking mother Ganga,
we started our journey,
faced bravely...turbulent waves,
also floated in calm water.

it was fun, and exciting,
filled my heart with joy,
we laughed and swam,
etching everything in memory.

in between at break point,
we had our tea and snacks,
we clicked pictures,
and talked with strangers.

so continued our rafting,
finally reached our goal,
tired and exhausted,
we returned to out vehicle.

with lunch convered,
and fully restored...
for our main destination,
drove towards Haridwar.

And ancient place,
besides bank of Ganga,
with many ghats,
flocked by young and old,

A place of reverence,
with saints and Sadhus,
people from many walk of life,
and different locations.

After the holy dip,
we went for temple visit,
residing on top of hill,
Ma Mansa and Chandi Devi.

We took the ropeway,
for we had less time,
but to wait for turn,
humidity and long queue took the toll.

still we faced the crowd,
the like-minded ones,
to pray in unison,
and have our darshan.

the ropeway was fun,
saw peacock enroute,
the trees laden with fruits,
also the deep fall below.

with all the darshan,
and doing Ganga Aarti,
a spark of spirituality,
contemplating about the religion.

Happy faces of parent,
me with silent observations,
the plethora of people,
moving around in harmony.....
within the noise and chaos!

we followed them,
walked with them,
after living those moments,
we finally returned.

In silence we drove,
with noise of bells,
chanting of verses...
playing fresh in our mind.

As we entered home,
talked about the experience,
had our dinner,
went in a deep slumber.




Next day was for rest,
need to restore our strength,
Just have a lazy day,
and prepare for early flight next day.

So it went,
my Dehradun diary,
a trip of nostalgia,
plenty of adventure,
and beautiful memories😊😊













Sunday, June 10, 2018

Passing by..

Passing by,
we see others,
just a glance,
or a smile,
as we walk to our cause.

A moment of connection,
or our clumsy whims or fancy,
wondering their presence,
their life or work,
or just a simply form of attraction.

Passing by,
not much to spare,
Being busy with self,
in the life of fast pace,
returning to old life.

But then something changes,
or just some impulses,
giving some serious thoughts,
simple look or stares,
or little courage to meet...

So...brings the attachment,
forming of relations,
moving to more, solidifying,
Some words, assurances...
forming like a bond.

Passing by,
All it took...
a moment of pause,
first step to unknown...
and life goes on.😊