Ambivalence

It's difficult to conclude,

when opinions are renewed, 

evaluating someone's actions,

which constantly moved,

sometimes good, sometimes bad,

being on the spectrum,

I struggle with emotional ambivalence. 

Holding mixed, opposite feeling,

Of respecting the good qualities,

still being wary of toxic traits, 

displayed through their actions, 

and I am confused to interpret,

caught between mental tug-of-war,

wanting to avoid it altogether. 

One can acknowledge the intellect, 

certain beliefs, gestures & talents,

but we can't ignore the patterns,

inconsistencies seen in decisions, 

breaking away from the paths,

that build trust, deepen connections, 

for they impact things long-term. 

Ambivalence . . .

When stripped of the comfort,

of sorting them into categories, 

no one is only good or bad,

their nature being multifaceted, 

still, it's not easy to lower guards,

having seen their unpredictability, 

so, I appreciate, but protect boundaries.