Dispirited

Nothing do do,

nor do I want to,

life feels gray,

hardly moves,

I am dispirited...

I see the blaze,

which once burned,

till this life,

take rough turns,

consuming my energy.

Might be insignificant, 

unworthy of attention, 

still participate strongly, 

in paralyzing thoughts,

halting my progress.

Outside, the world turns,

and time marches on,

unmindful of my state,

making terms & conditions, 

for ones who followed.

The stasis is gnawing, 

but extremes can be harrowing, 

realities requires making concessions, 

where obligations replaced, 

space for dreams & passions.

May be, it's natural, 

or part of something existential, 

but right now, just my heart,

feeling low, losing hope,

being dispirited...

Having complexes

What name, should I give,

this deep-seated feeling of inadequacy, 

doubting potentials, my abilities, 

putting a ceiling on dreams seen.

Having complexes...

There are traumas, pressure from society, 

also weaknesses, changing my tendencies,

with negative self-talks, constant criticisms, 

eroding confidence, shaking beliefs.

It's not always about incompetency, 

there are influences in my upbringings, 

creating distance from normal conduct, 

by passing judgments, or comparing.

I am aware of these aberrations,

seeing reality in distorted perceptions, 

still feel helpless in changing directions, 

being prone to emotional amplification.

Having complexes...

I don't deny the hurt,

but want to overcome narrations, 

accept shortcomings & setbacks,

as means for the growth...

Of my personality. 

No matter how much time it takes!

Diplomatic communications

The more we refine,

decorate words to avoid conflicts, 

We erode the very foundations, 

Of mutual understandings.

Diplomatic communications...

At first glance, they win hearts,

tactfully advancing their interests, 

navigating through sensitive sides,

without instigating, exposing problems. 

Yet, such cushioning of messages hinders,

when our clarity is exchanged for comforts,

hiding truth in layers of strategic ambiguity,

providing options of plausible deniability.

For, safe terms won't usher the change,

while words, keep losing its meanings,

trapped in mazes, covered in linguistic fog,

we no longer feel, weight of the facts.

There are confusions, struggling for conclusions, 

without honesty, encouraging projections, 

of our fears, biases, personal opinions,

influencing tides of important decisions. 

Diplomatic communications...

As our society proceeds in these directions, 

I am apprehensive, of intellectual stagnation,

lowering frictions, but building resentments, 

of polite distancing, without productive disagreements...

Wasting precious time, stalling our progress!

Water become melodious

Water become melodious, 

whenever it hits the rocks,

changing tunes & rhythm,

with every rise and fall,

in the flowing currents,

in cascades and rivulets,

finding beautiful notes,

in its journey. 

And we listen,

seeing the continuous stream,

gently passing through obstacles, 

as it creates own paths,

over the fallen debris, 

sand, pebbles, sediments,

each acting as membranes, 

that tunes or pitch adjustments,

being euphonic. 

Water becomes melodious, 

accepting every adversity, 

adaptable to changing surfaces,

still retain control over properties, 

bending ways, but not breaking, 

while treating us audiences, 

with pleasant, ethereal atmosphere.

What you want to see?

So, tell me,

what you want to see?

A curated version, 

or unfiltered me...

You may say,

liking honest ways,

still hope in private,

something refined taste,

which might be absent,

currently.

People prefer masks,

to hide unpleasant sides,

while displaying grandeur,

to gain admiration,

of fellow beings.

Yet, there are ones,

who remain unconcerned,

of people judgments, 

to maintain balance,

between expectations, 

and realities. 

So, tell me,

what you want to see?

Things that dazzles,

waiting to be fizzled,

or become assured, 

of the authenticity.

Bela Pana

It's that time of year,

we celebrate with fervor, 

drinking refreshing beverage, 

as we change Odia calendar. (Panjika)

Bela Pana...

A juice made from bael, (wood apple)

from favorite tree of lord Shiva,

adding various condiments,

to enhance its deliciousness.

I love to eat ripe fruit,

cracking them wide open, 

scooping surfaces with spoon,

and having it directly. 

Then, we extract the pulp,

and put it in a large bowl,

mash to separate seeds & fibers,

strain the rest using filters.

We can dilute the creamy mixture, 

have it directly, or being sweetened, 

adding ingredients of our choice,

like banana, chhena, honey or jaggery.

Bela Pana...

It's a rejuvenating summer drink,

a part of tradition, deeply linked,

filling heart with joy & nostalgia,

whenever I take part in this ritual.

Happy Maha Bisubha Sankranti and Odia New year!

** Also known as Pana Sankranti.

Unburdened

Wise one speaks,

to remain detached, and resist,

emotions that trigger reactions, 

as response to inflammatory situations. 

Yet, we can't practice indifference, 

when our interests are at stake,

enduring extreme provocation,

how could we remain unconcerned?

Unburdened...

I want to be free,

from anxieties & apprehensions,

which might take darker turns,

by increasing frustrations.

When event building distress,

it might have lasting impressions, 

in personal habits, our relations, 

weakening mind, body conditions. 

Survival requires necessities,

how could one pursue equanimity, 

if circumstances become unfavorable, 

causing frictions between ideals & realities. 

So, I prefer selective engagement, 

trying to overcome such predicament,

navigating obstacles in life's journey,

without losing patience & calm...

Being truly unburdened!

Moral consensus

Little by little, 

we are being fiddled,

robbed of peace of mind,

when trust were kept aside,

in everyday interactions. 

Moral consensus...

A shared understanding, 

between individuals & societies, 

providing a foundation for rules,

to be followed without disruptions, 

establishing standards to be followed.

For, social order is maintained,

when there are fewer disagreements, 

everyone is aware of their role,

avoiding pitfalls, accepting mistakes, 

striving for constant improvement.

Yet, with changing lifestyles, 

people are getting disenchanted, 

conformity seen as form of subjugation, 

being hurdle to individual autonomy, 

developing resistance, risking defiance. 

Moral consensus...

Once we lose the capacities, 

to have faith, trust in the systems, 

there will be institutional decay,

showing signs of abnormalities, 

in the very function of our societies. 

Humble beings

Humble beings,

they don't swing,

have seen the best,

still well meaning, 

giving respect,

regardless of class. 

One say it's luck,

never seen the worst,

having residual goodness,

to spare for others, 

which might change,

enduring harsh realities. 

While some have suspicions, 

of having sinister motives,

or putting up a strong front,

to hide their vulnerabilities, 

taking advantages of naive,

by gaining their trusts. 

Yet, truth can be more profound,

when facing life changing events,

wisdom from exposures & experiences, 

developing values & understandings,

which is translated in their conduct,

and manifested as character. 

Then again, 

there's many facets,

not everything is straight, 

so, we accept them together, 

inculcating virtues, from examples, 

to become, humble being.

Love will fail

Love will fail, 

feelings go stale,

when there's no devotion, 

an eagerness to serve. 

There's heartbreaks waiting,

if the trust keeps shaking, 

stemmed from fear or doubts,

and expectations not meeting. 

When foundations are weak,

built on hypes, lies or deceit,

it waits for the uncovering, 

as true character is revealed. 

Then, there are honest souls,

driven by pride, different goals,

fermenting frictions in routines,

eroding the closeness once been. 

The surroundings also plays role,

when friends or families control,

bringing external influences inside,

impacting harmony of inner world. 

Love will fail,

connections began to pale,

when we don't have clarity,

of how we want to avail... 

Our promised relationships. 

It gladden my heart

It gladden my heart,

meeting him after long time,

still the body frozen stiff,

unsure of how to act,

being enfolded in his arms. 

I was never the one to show,

articulate emotions in gestures,

overwhelmed by shown affections,

being guilty of lacking devotion, 

or it's just lack of connections. 

Life works mysterious ways,

some are more open to display,

individuals have unique experiences, 

influenced by their surroundings, 

shaping their characters. 

Does that means I am less,

not reciprocating, feeling distressed,

altering focus, into something formal,

directing attentions, to matter at hand,

to avoid facing unease inside. 

It gladden my heart,

reuniting with my old friend, 

catching up, reminiscing memories, 

there are such missed opportunities, 

so, I am feeling a little saddened. 

Curiosity is the spark

Curiosity is the spark,

illuminating mind, in the dark,

when ignorance clouded vision,

from making informed decisions, 

in our journey of life. 

Curiosity is the spark,

which always leaves its mark,

both in successes, & failures, 

every experience, are the lessons, 

letting us learn from their examples. 

Curiosity is the spark, 

inherent human desire to ask,

stimulations, of why's and what's,

opening the gates of knowledge, 

finding answers, to our problems. 

Curiosity is the spark,

opening the uncharted paths,

of discoveries, newer innovations, 

influencing, course of civilizations, 

leaving lasting impacts. 

Curiosity is the spark,

needs continued effort,& directions, 

for creating something special, 

after years of dedication, 

towards our cause.

Your every actions are manipulations

Your every action are manipulations,

how could you expect my cooperation,

when lies become the foundations, 

there's no trust, in the relations. 

You don't want genuine connections, 

but make others follow the directions, 

to satisfy your criteria of perfections, 

while others chase, your reflections. 

When mind is filled with expectations, 

how could heart, assume the positions,

of welcoming feelings, tender emotions,

kindling the love, deepening affections. 

For, you do prioritize, self interests, 

over forming bond, of mutual benefits, 

something in life are more sacred,

than demeaning them into transactions. 

Your every action are manipulations, 

trying to dominate, our conversations, 

stemmed out of your fears or suspicions, 

influenced by narratives, in modern discussions. 

Still I ask, do you really care...

It's time, for your confession!