If I was true

If I was true,
honest to my heart,
seeking goodness of others,
and some comfort to self,
being happy and safe.....
If I was true,
fulfill the duties of life,
restrain over the impulses,
patience and self-control,
being responsible to family....
If I was true,
avoiding the bad habits,
being simple and quiet,
not be wasteful or lavish,
saving more than I spend....

If all this being true,
for security of my dreams,
of future, distant it may seems...
Then why I do worry,
asking myself to hurry,
moments that passes....
the chance that I missed !

Is it envy, or despair,
of a life that I care.......
Is it guilt of evil thoughts,
or the grief of time that lost.

If I was true, 
then why I want change,
to keep up the hope,
bringing the happy days.......
a need to introspect,
taking up my choices,
to identity my flaws,
working on my weaknesses !

If I was true,
I will get what I want,
but there are doubts...
when I write these lines wishing,
.
..
...

If only, I was true !!