An illusion

Sometimes...I think of you,

hazy, distant, blurry outlines....

far away from the sight,

a figment of my imagination.

stretching my arm to reach,

opening my palm, fingers to touch.....

so elusive , fading in night,

an illusion, yet so real !!

Being there, smiling,

with your tender eyes,

so caring as you look,

taking on my fancy.

I never thought of,

but you have it all,

the looks, charms....

in spirit and soul.

approaching my heart,

filling it with ecstasy..

the joy and gratification,

vanquishing loneliness inside. 

The emptiness.... it kills,

reminding me of your presence,

intoxicating my mind, 

enchanting my thoughts....

speech I watched,

lived in those moments,

pursuing to your lead,

on and on it went.

What do I seek,

a moment of your company,

just an urge, an impulse....

or longing for many,

to capture your attention,

express my intentions,

not to miss my chances,

then regret for my mistake !!

Clearer and sharper,

as I came nearer...

long locks like dark clouds,

with face like shining moon.

a whisper on my ear,

soft and sweet like a song,

fragrance of flowers all around,

putting me in hypnotic trance.

But then all blank,

everything so void,

cold breeze touching my cheek,

waking up in heavy eyes.....

Had I slept, or hallucinated,

an expression of deep desire,

still a beautiful moment it was,

In this lonely cold night !!

A mystery guy Part 4

"Now, comes the part of life I lived in Dehradun...

Dehradun would have been the best time I had in my life, from my childhood to early teens. From Movies, to games, music to dance....done it all, experienced them all. And inturn learned many lessons too. School was not much of a worry, as I was always on top in studies mostly because my mom taught me. Even on cold days I had to wake up early at four and even in Razai, with drowsy eyes, I had to study, memorize. Also my hobbies of reading books went on as usual, from my school library. I also started writing poetry too, small, simple but just for fun, which become a full time poetry later. May be because I was inspired by what I read, I also tried my hands in writing stories too, not that I was much successful. 

Playing cricket was our past time in evening in most days. I had friends too..one my classmate Mahesh, he was South India,Chennai to be exact and other one a year senior to me, Satya who was from U.P and that much I knew about them. Mahesh was tall, fair smart, independent nature but was selfish and proud. He was my friend mostly because he was my neighbor but he was just the opposite character of me. He was a bullly too, and we had many fights, where he had the upper hand. I hated him for that too, but I was not the kind to keep anger forever,and the next day we would be friend again.... 

Both Mahesh and Satya have a younger brother. That make us a team during cricket matches. Our's was a group and we had a lot of adventures too, just like you read in stories. A lot of them, that I cannot even describe. Like one where we went to a vatika , flower garden full of roses. It was a nice hang out but our intentions were not that good. We went there to steal the roses hidden from the watchman view. This hide and seek itself was a great fun. 

" Manish, just keep an eye on the watchman while we check the roses, Today I would have the red and the pink ones." Satya asked me.

While I was keeping an eye, Mahesh and Satya plucked the Roses of different colors from the garden. My person favorites were the red one, still the yellow, white, pink, orange ones were also there. Colors, they were so fascinating for us boys. It was like a mission for us.

" Run, the watchman is coming." I warned panicking , while trying to hide behind a tree. 
While Mahesh hide below a small wooden bridge built on the dry canal. Satya followed him. As per their brothers, Deepak and Raju respectively, those kids were nowhere in sight. Too expert in camouflage or may be because they were just kids.

"It's all right, he is gone." Mahesh callled, looking relieved. " we must return home now, it's getting dark, we had enough now, let us hide it inside our shirt. Where's Deepak? "

"Deepak, Raju...come here !!" I shouted. Two kids came running towards us with a wide smile, they too had their catch. 

Deepak was a smaller in height though both are of same age, but both have same character, one that most kid have, Mischievous and fickle minded. And with our trophy of hard work, with all those beautiful roses, we went home, divided it between us, and gifted them to our mom, who in turn put them in the vase. {though with a minor scolding}
Stealing Roses was one of our common adventure along with stealing fruits from other's garden. It was fun. I remember an episode where we stole and hide roses from the watching in a plaster my sister had in her arm {she had broke her arm in one fall while she was playing.

There were other episodes too..a lot to share but it would take a lot of time. You might not be interested to know, 

With it, he looked at me, 

A mystery guy Part 3

Continuing the story...

"Next, my life in Dehradun but before that I want to know how was your time as a kid ? " 

My life, I was surprised ....I am in the middle of an exciting story, waiting to get more of him, his life in Dehradun. Why would I want to delay it by sharing my story here...

" I don't have much to speak of, why would you want to know? "

" Well, I am sharing you mine, wouldn't I have the privilege to know something about my savior." he smiled.

He seemed to be relaxed. It might be because he was telling about his life, living those moments, sharing them with me...that brought such welcome change in him. I was apprehensive to comply to his demands but then, to keep this short exchange of our time a bit fair , I agreed. 
" Alright, if it suits you then listen....though it would be bit boring for you." I answered.

" My name is Priya..I am here for a college picnic. I actually belong to Delhi. Most of my childhood I had spent in Delhi only. What I really remember are the times I had with my Grandpa and Grandma. They always took my sides, gave me treats, and told stories too. Mom and Dad were cool but a bit busy then. I had friends, a lot of them and we used to create havoc in our colony. Apart from studies, much of our kid days were only play and picnics. I had a best friend too....though their family left and we lost touch. Her name was Sweety....and she lived up to her name, having such a sweet nature.Let me tell you an incidence,

We had been playing at the garden one day, Sweety came with her favourate doll and asked me to play with her. You know those games we girls play in childhood, to comb hair, change dresses of doll, make stories and all. 
" My princess is the most beautiful doll in the world. look at her eyes, she looks so happy,now let mumma make your hair straight" said she, while combing her hair.

"I will change her dress, what should she wear today, the blue or the pink one? " I joined in.

" I think pink will be better, she would look like a princess in it" She answered, giving a affirmative look on the pink one and beamed.

I took the doll from her and was putting the dress on her, but someone called me from behind. I turned but accidentally shift the doll near the cactus tree...the dress tore and their were scratches on it's arm. I too got some scratches which started to bleed. When I realized what I had done, I dreaded how Sweety would react.
At first she was shocked but then she took the doll away as I expected but rather than getting angry, she comforted me.

" Oh, your hand...it's bleeding, let me take you to your mom. She will put bandage." she replied in worried tone, not even looking at her doll.

It was her that love and care that made us best friends. I had the fiery temper, easily getting angry..but she made me calm, considerate. Most of the times we spent together, played together...we made our stories, dreams shared, and she had a strong influence on me. 

I was good in studies too, I liked books, and sports too...a sort of all rounder you can say. It was till I was young, as I got older...my interests changed. That much of my story as kid....now can you proceed with your life in Dehradun? " I asked him, he seemed to be listening to me intently...his eyes which were constantly on me, making me uneasy. He stirred, as if woken from a long sleep and replied,

" Priya, indeed..you do have a nice time as kid, having loving friends, family, Grandparents...I never had a chance to make long lasting friends...Papa's frequent postings made it difficult or may be I hadn't thought about it seriously, I was easy going with most of my friends but never gave it a chance to become stronger. " He sighed.
" I haven't told you me name, have I?"

" No, I couldn't catch your name, what's your name?" I asked, surprised that it never occurred to me to ask his name.

"It's Rahul, I am from Bhubaneswar, a tourist here, same as you," He smiled and continued, 
"Now, comes the part of life I lived in Dehradun...

A mystery guy Part 2

Now the second part of my novel when the guy starts to tell his story,

"Ok, if you really have time, Listen."

" What I am going to say had lot to do with how I have grown up, circumstances I had been, mistakes I had committed and how, I end up here...
I had been a dreamer from my childhood. The earliest memory I have of my childhood is being seated with my Grandpa in my village, or the dusky evening on the bed playing some games on the streets. The first part of life just have some flashes of memories, like being playing near a helicopter, making mud pies, having some treats of cakes and chocolates..though they are just the fun memories, just to lighten up the moods.

My Father was in Army, a Dentist...and mother a housewife, I have a young sister too, and I have some great time too. Life was easy then, in my childhood, lots of friends, lot of play too, be in school or the playground near our army quarters. The only problem was frequent transfers of my father...which allowed me only to have temporary friends whom I later forgot as I lost in touch with them. Though I remembered all the fun I had with them. 

The best times I remembered to have spent are in Amritsar, Dehradun and little time I spent in Udhampur . 

Coming to Amritsar days, I remember the school days, cycling  every day  to school and exploring the surrounding places while returning back, being  only in 2nd or 3rd standard, everything looked new, and we were so full of innocent curiosities. We had our hangout place for our gang...Near a Banyan tree, where we used to climb the branches, jumping to and fro and swinging on those suspended branches, playing marbles...and returning home to get scolded. 
My sister Sneha was my darling in those days, even being so young I acted as an older brother to protect her from any fights. Once such incident happened when she had a fight with my friend. He punched her and I had a great fight with him.
" How dare you hit my sister" I questioned. 

" Why are you coming in the way' pat came his reply, ' it's our matter "

" She is my sister and anyone dare to touch him will have to face my wrath" I was visibly angry then. He got scared. 

Again another incidence about how I used to deceive my sister into giving her share of treat to me,
" Give me a piece of that chocolate" I requested.

" Why should I give you mine, you had your share " She refused and made faces.

" Give me or else I would put curse on you, " I commanded.

" No, Please don't do that' She was frightened and gave one piece of chocolate  ' have this" 

I have cultivated a habit of reading in Amritsar, one thing that I was proud of. We had a library near our home where I can go and read most children books with pictures in it. That was a great time for hang out, of course alone... not many enjoy reading books except for the comic books. I too read many, Chandamama, Panchatantra were my favorites, then came likes of champak, twinkles though later on. So, Sunday time of mowglee in jungle book, and other cartoons. Kid days were so simple. 

We used to visit many places in holidays, two of the most memorable were the Golden temple and Bagha border. Golden temple from what I recall was a magical place for me then, a temple with golden own, in between a pond. I loved those large fishes and the Turtles there...may be as kids those were my first attraction, also the langars were great. 
Then came the Bagha border, which I had visited with my relatives. the atmosphere was great, just the feel of another country on the other side, then the small marches, shouting, clapping of the visitors from both sides. 

There were lot of such incidences..but these few were my favorites. Those were the carefree days. But things changes as we get older, isn't it? "

I was so immersed in the narrative of this mystery guy of mine, that I forgot he took pause and asked me this question, but soon I realized that after his hand tapping my shoulder. 

" Hello, are you listening? " he asked nervously.

Am I listening ? That would be an understatement, watching his dark eyes, small drops of sweat sliding down his temple, the small curves in his lips showing his changing moods with the change in the scene he was depicting from the memories deep hidden inside. I could imagine a small boy and his adventures, mischief as he spoke.
" Yes, I am listening,' I replied with a smile " things do change, so what happened next?"

"Next, my life in Dehradun but before that I want to know how was your time as a kid ? " 

A mystery guy Part 1

Hello friends, just thinking of writing a story for a change... :) 
The story starts with a protagonist being a girl who had gone to a hill station for vacation with college friends. While she was sitting at a garden, she saw a guy, from where her experience begins. 



He looked so absorbed, consumed in thoughts...silent but his eyes were wandering. He looked at me once, just a glimpse but enough to enter inside me, asking questions, leaving me wondering who he was, why was he here? 
I was with my friends, hanging out, exploring the nature, the mountain, it's beauty....We had done our shopping and wanted to relax somewhere. A garden was our choice, sitting, gossiping, having a laugh, everything so normal, but it was going to change soon.......

I saw him standing alone, watching the horizon, or the birds flying immersed in thought. He was tall, more than average, well built, short hairs..wearing a leather jacket, not showy but more like a gentlemen and a  black jeans which was folded back near the ankle,which looked little out of space in his heavy leather shoes. Certainly  he doesn't case about his fashion statement, still he looked nice with his attire. He turned and looked at us, and our eyes met...but it was not for long, he quickly shifted his glance back to the other side which doesn't seemed natural but more of a reactionary. The very act made me took notice of him, my casual observation became my intention. His eyes, deep dark eyes, with an innocent look at his face compelled me to follow him. He didn't stand for long and went outside but not toward the market but toward the mountain viewpoint. For a guy with heavy leather shoes, he walking was pretty brisk, it was difficult to keep up with him. 

My friends were busy in their talks and would be there for an hour or more, so they wouldn't miss me for a while, and this will be over quickly. First I need to see where he is going.

The viewpoint was close to the garden, so I could skip our gathering and comply my impulse for a while...so, I was at the mountain viewpoint, beautiful place but a little crowded, people taking pictures, chatting, enjoying the view of the valley and th mountains.I searched for him in between all those people and there he was, standing, still engrossed in his thoughts. He might have watched me or just it could be my thoughts...but he again was on the move, this time little more farther on the small stone passage. 

Little uncertain about whether to  return back or keep up , I decided the later one. My decision didn't got unrewarded as he stopped after some time, looked up at the sky, then towards the branches of the tree, changing the gaze, going downward near the flowers on the shrub nearby, a hint of a smile...he turned behind but I was alert and I hid behind a tree hoping the trunk would cover me (I was slim anyway)
He turned back, took a deep sigh and crossed the stone fence, besides the pavement and walked toward the cliff. The cliff was more like a group of rock boulders. He went there, climbing on it and standing near the edge, opening his arm to it's full stretch took a deep breath and looked down.

I knew what he was going to do, and I was not going to allow it to happen. I quickly run towards his direction, jumping over the fence and reached near him in an instant. I pulled him back, shouting at him..
" What are you thinking, why are you doing this... ? "

"You? but I was...it was not like that.." he stumbled as if startled by my presence.

" I know what it's like, and how it would end up...how could you?? " was my reply,

" You don't understand...." he protested." you are mistaken."

" No I'm not, why are you on the edge, what were you going to do..If you have any problem, then tell me, I might help you in this. What are you doing here, you don't look like you are from this region" I asked, trying to be calm. 

"I came here as a tourist, but why are you asking this, even you don't seem to be from this place either" retorts back.

I was little taken aback, should I say him that I followed him, just to answer my impulse, a mystery I wanted to know about? 
" I was just strolling around when I saw you, and came here to help you" I tried to evade eye contact.

" No you were not, you were at the garden with your friends...you followed me, right. but why? " He looked at me straight in the eyes, the same questioning stare that I first saw in him.

I couldn't lie anymore, but tried to make it easy, I answer,
"I saw you in the garden, your actions were little curious, but I didn't followed you from the garden rather I too went to view point from where I followed you when I say you were going toward the cliff. But why you wanted to die, why commit suicide, weren't you happy with your life ?"

"I didn't wanted to commit suicide, I was here because I ... I... , forget it, it's a long story" I gave a sigh.

Now, something of my interest, a story...something to unravel from this mystery. 
" Tell me, I have enough time for that" was my reply. I wanted him to open up. To know more about this guy who had caused me to take such troubles.

" But...why do you want to know ? " He asked.

" Just tell me..." I ordered.

"Ok, if you really have time, Listen."

Envy

They have a happy life,

full with those cheery vibe,

success in every state,

never a single wait,

rewards in single try,

not a reason to cry,

I saw those lucky things...

safe on the angel wings !!

Jealous I was...

or thought of envy?

Living their days in merry,

enjoying with friends n family,

just some pleasure trips,
with those euphoric sleeps...
they have it all,
still craving for more,
seen those greed,
and the sensual needs...

Loathed..I had,
or a hint of envy?


Driving together in bike,
a closeness in between,
warm hugs and kisses,
fulfilling all the wishes.....
to party, or some fun,
worries, they have none,
chance to utilize their age,
nothing to regret in coming days....

Admired...I could,
but a sense of envy.

Sometimes guilty..in conscience,
but wasn't a innate design,
to desire and aspire,
choose to compete...if it so,
to be equal or exceed,
get everything we need,
till then, it comes in a while,
small envy...in our smile :)